Why you should stop trying to impress successful people

I got a chance to chat with Penelope Trunk a few days ago.  As excited as I was after we hung up, part of me felt totally lame because I didn't feel like I "added value".  I felt I probably should have been more engaged and asked more poignant questions in order to make her take notice...then I got over it.  Because when networking, trying to impress successful people is a thoughtless act.  Besides the fact that by boasting your accomplishments, you're seeking validation on decisions you've already made; here are 2 more reasons why:

1. Trying to "be smart" with smart people creates points of friction--Watching someone attempt to impress another person despite a total lack of knowledge on the subject matter makes my teeth itch.  It almost feels disrespectful (hence the friction) which usually leads to one party becoming defensive.  Since you are reading this post, the burden now falls on you to humble yourself and realize the potential for learning when engaging in a any conversation.  You don't need to hijack the natural flow and attempt to impress them with your IQ.  Instead, impress them with your ability to dig deeper and your courage to actually apply what they're sharing.   
2. Their success is in part based on a great track record forming their own impressions--Smart people have a gut instinct that works really well.  Because it works really well, they rely on it moreso than the average bear to help them form an opinion about another person.  They can absolutely tell when someone is attempting to sway them and it can get really annoying.  Be yourself and allow them to form their own impression.  Bottom line, they're either going to be impressed by you or they're not.

Let's face it--we all realize how important first impressions are, but we can't go through life just meeting people, initially impressing them, and then moving on.  At the end of the day the person who wins is not always the one who was the most impressive, it's the one who makes the connection.

That being said, establish your purpose before you even start and then communicate that purpose to the other person.  When the purpose of your conversation is to set the stage for learning, then your mindset is different going in and consequently, so is theirs.

Comments

[Tiffany]

Excellent post! I totally agree with you. When I worked for a publishing company and attended one of their conferences as the setup girl I met so many influential people. They were successful, smart and strong-minded. I listened with open ears and made it my business to speak with them and ask questions. There was no point in trying to impress them since I barely knew about the subject they were speaking about. Instead I wanted them to know that they had a supporter and that what they had to say was just as important to me as it was to them. I think they appreciated this the most.

[Kiersten Mitchell]

Exactly! It feels good to see someone (that you don't report to) find value in the fruits of your labor!