My mom is an absolute saint! She is probably one of the most patient, caring, and generous people I know. Her pious nature leads her to believe that the devil never needs an advocate (not even for the sake of conversation) and she lives her life in that fashion. Well this past weekend she revealed that she recently learned something about herself. She learned that she has a soft spot for those who are less fortunate than she is (gasp!). She is more inclined to help them than she is the success story that may live down the street. She's okay with it, and I am too--until a victim comes along. (Here comes the rant...)
It never fails, victims always let her down...I'm starting to believe that someone in a former life introduced all victims to my mom’s heart strings and gave them free reign to pull and tug as much as they wished. This same person then pointed out that her actual heart is located on her sleeve right next to the spot I used to lean on in church on Sunday mornings. And that once they decide they need something more tangible than empathy, her wallet is located on her hip a little past the gut feeling she ignored when she decided to help them. (Rant Over: Here comes the point...)
There is a major difference between victims and those just down on their luck. One is rooted in a series of events and the other is rooted in a series of behaviors and beliefs. Victims relentlessly challenge the implicit rituals of a relationship. Things like support, loyalty, honesty, and effort all fall on deaf victim ears. Victims add a layer of complexity to every task and conversation because they make it ultimately revert back to something YOU did not do. They feel as though never have a choice and that everything is impossible, absurd, or too difficult for them. They’re inconsistent and influential all at the same time. They are absolutely toxic to the workplace and I have very little patience for them.
If you are in a position of power, it is your duty to ensure that your team is not infiltrated by these toxic employees. If you're not in a position of power, you still have the same duty. If you truly care about something, you better be ready to rant fight to protect it...
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